When I woke up this morning, it was still dark. I looked at my phone wondering if it would read 2:10 in the morning. Nope, 4:52. Somehow this was the pass I was subconsciously hoping to receive: That I wouldn't automatically awaken at the time of his death every September 3rd. Before falling asleep last … Continue reading Everything I Own
Australia
Vices in Week Two
Last Saturday, I created a dinner out of organic peanut butter, leftover chipotle sauce, and two scoops of Häagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream that had been forgotten in the back of the freezer in a decaying container. As a dessert, I added a freshly peeled carrot – a real carrot and not one of those tasteless baby … Continue reading Vices in Week Two
Artists in Week One
Stand-up comedian, Jen Kirkman, quipped when describing her wedding day which she said is supposed to be the best party of your life, "There's no party that begins with church." And there is no sabbatical that begins with filing taxes and writing a check to the Internal Revenue Service but that is where I am today. In … Continue reading Artists in Week One
Everything Happens for a Reason
Two nights ago, I finished a three-week painting class in Austin. Actually, I'm not sure my work can be considered painting as much as wild stroking of a brush. Will you keep painting, our instructor asked each night as she walked back and forth in front of our easels, the ones we stood behind as we … Continue reading Everything Happens for a Reason
Living in the Now
I said something to Allan almost a year before he was ever diagnosed that haunts me not because I wished I wouldn't have said it but because I wished I would have acted on it more. I repeated it to my mother in her last month’s visit with me. I’m sharing it today because I want you … Continue reading Living in the Now
Sixteen
“Guess whose birthday it is tomorrow,” I ask as I push the washcloth in a circular motion inside her ear. “Whose?” “Yours!” I say as she tilts her head to the side to look at me. She glances down before she asks, “How old?” “How old would you like to be?” A smirk forms on her … Continue reading Sixteen
Thrive or Survive
Rains falls down in Austin today, allowing me to continue my dedicated procrastination towards the obvious weed pulling and mulch spreading needed in the front lawn. Every day I am reminded of all the outside work my husband did when he was alive; and, every day that it rains is a chance for me to … Continue reading Thrive or Survive